It has been a lovely Christmas here in many ways, filled with good memories. For me, at least, continuing our Christmas traditions has been mainly comforting. A few moments stand out
-- going caroling in the neighborhood during our party, with perfect weather -- just below freezing, with snow on the ground, but no precipitation, neither too cold nor too warm -- and many appreciative and receptive folks to carol too -- finishing up with the local grocery store, where shoppers got out their i-phones and filmed us, and asked what organization we were from... I told them we were just a group of friends.
-- wrapping presents using the cloth bags Angela made for present-wrapping many years ago, which we have used ever since -- in all kinds of Christmassy fabrics -- a way to avoid throwing out all that wrapping paper -- and finding a label from last year on one of the bags -- "to my Michael, love, Angela" -- this was both a kind of gift and a painful moment of realization that she wasn't there -- and of realization that although last Christmas was truly beautiful I can't for the life of me remember what my gifts from her were -- I suppose the greatest gift was just that she was with me. This has stuck with me for the last several days.
-- having the girls make me a truly elegant birthday brunch for Christmas Eve morning.
-- almost all the presents arriving on time in spite of a lot of last minute gift-ordering
-- visiting Angela's grave on Christmas afternoon and seeing her freshly-laid tombstone for the first time.
-- many dreams about Angela during the last month or so, which have been a great comfort to me, and thinking over and over again how present she is in everything we are doing as a family during this season.
And, of course, a lot of good food, without too much terribly demanding cooking. So, here are our menus from the last three days...
Our Christmas menus
Dec. 23rd: Caroling party at our apartment.
Salsa
Guacamole
Tortilla chips
Chili
Mulled apple cider
Beer
Hard Cider
Assorted Christmas cookies
Dec 24th: Birthday Brunch for me, prepared by the girls
Omelettes
Home-made muesli with macerated berries (blueberries, strawberries and raspberries) and Greek yogurt
Blueberry scones
Mimosas
Coffee
Christmas eve dinner at Gloria’s apartment
Squid-ink pasta with squid sauce
Fried shrimp
Salad
Water
Pears cooked in wine
Dec 25th: Brunch before gift-opening
Tourtiere
Pomegranate seeds
Fruit from “edible arrangements”
Spiced coffee
Christmas dinner
Raclette
(with Raclette cheese, ham, prosciutto, French bread, baby potatoes, pickled onions, gherkins, pickled asparagus, and blue-cheese stuffed olives)
Riesling
Lemon tart with freshly whipped cream
This morning I think I am going to have oatmeal and fruit.
(cross-posted from Facebook notes)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Long silence
I realize I have not posted anything here in a long time. I have been very busy, with holiday preparations and with work -- too busy, without enough time for contemplation and meditation on my life.
Some time ago I wrote up something I meant to post here which came out in the form of (very poor) verse:
Do not think I am not missing her now
Because I have been silent.
The longing is greater now than it has been
Though the tears are less frequent.
But I was not pleased with these lines and so did not post them -- I am certainly no poet. Still, they are true, and so I post them here.
I will put up a separate post about Christmas so far... The holidays over all, from Thanksgiving on, have been pretty good, in spite of warnings about how difficult they should be. I found a book on our shelves that Angela had read a few years ago and which I am working through during Advent and Christmas, Living with Hope: A Scientist Looks at Advent, Christmas and Epiphany. This contains daily reflections, and during Advent his focus was on the four last things, death, judgment, heaven and hell. His reflections have been very helpful to me in thinking about death and what the Christian hope in the resurrection means. Reading this book knowing that a few years ago Angela had read it both connects me to her and helps me to remember how she lived with hope, and faith, and love.
But I have been too busy, as I have said, and I hope to find some quieter time during the rest of this holiday, amidst all the visiting and family and friends.
Some time ago I wrote up something I meant to post here which came out in the form of (very poor) verse:
Do not think I am not missing her now
Because I have been silent.
The longing is greater now than it has been
Though the tears are less frequent.
But I was not pleased with these lines and so did not post them -- I am certainly no poet. Still, they are true, and so I post them here.
I will put up a separate post about Christmas so far... The holidays over all, from Thanksgiving on, have been pretty good, in spite of warnings about how difficult they should be. I found a book on our shelves that Angela had read a few years ago and which I am working through during Advent and Christmas, Living with Hope: A Scientist Looks at Advent, Christmas and Epiphany. This contains daily reflections, and during Advent his focus was on the four last things, death, judgment, heaven and hell. His reflections have been very helpful to me in thinking about death and what the Christian hope in the resurrection means. Reading this book knowing that a few years ago Angela had read it both connects me to her and helps me to remember how she lived with hope, and faith, and love.
But I have been too busy, as I have said, and I hope to find some quieter time during the rest of this holiday, amidst all the visiting and family and friends.
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