Well, I had chest pains today, worried myself for a few hours, then called the doctor and was directed to the ER, where I spent 4 or 5 hours getting an EKG, blood tests and a chest x-ray -- all negative -- no heart problems, no infections, no pneumonia, no blood clot in the lungs. The end result was that I was sent home with the suggestion that it was something "musculo-skeletal" (like I hurt myself coughing...) -- which the resident said just meant they didn't know what it was but it wasn't going to kill me. Once before, when we lived in South Bend, I went to the ER for chest pains and was told it was acid reflux, but I don't think that was it this time. Of course, that time, Angela drove me there and stayed with me. This time a friend drove me but then I was alone -- and walked myself home. I wasn't really worried, though.
But one thing this did do was to make me go through a little bit of what Angela had to go through for so long -- I had an IV, and was in a flimsy hospital gown, and it was cold and the blanket was thin, and I was connected to monitors, and couldn't reach the book I had brought without detaching myself from the monitors, and the nurses and staff were busy with really sick and injured people, and I was whisked off to the chest x-ray in the same radiology suite Angela and I had visited so many times (TC-100)... And I felt like this was a necessary way of connecting to her experience, at least a little bit, for a little while. How she put up with everything she had to put up with... she was amazing, and her will to live was very strong.
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